My Truth

Yesterday I invited my little cousin to read this blog.  Well he is not that little anymore.  We are ten years apart but I have always considered him to be my brother.  I am an only child and in many ways so is he.  Our mothers are sisters and they have always been very close.  Thus it was natural for us to be very close.  In so many words he told me to bare my soul.  I plan to do exactly that.  My truth is every day since my husband said that he no longer wanted to be married,  I have had hell even getting out of bed.  I know I have to because my sons are looking at me for guidance, support and dinner.  I’ll  be honest for the last week and a half, I have not wanted to do anything.  I can barely move about in the world because I just don’t understand it all.  There was no warning for me and I still have so many questions but I know that my closure does not lie with him. Nothing that he is saying makes any sense.  I need to create my own closure.  My truth is I am mad as hell at him.  My truth is I wish we had never met.  My truth is I hope he hurts just as he has made me hurt.  My truth is I hope nothing good happens for him until he truly repents.  My truth is I feel like he ripped out my heart and stepped on it.  My truth is  I will never be the same again.  I am trying to get back to some normalcy.  It is so hard but I will remain strong.  I will keep pressing forward.

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